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Table Talk Topic: Helping Your Teen Avoid Risky Online Behavior

Stopping your child from engaging in risky online behavior may start with one thing -- a good dinner table discussion.

Stopping your child from engaging in risky online behavior may start with one thing — a good dinner table discussion.

A recent study by Prof. Gustavo Mesch, a doctoral student in the Department of Sociology and Anthropology at the University of Haifa, found that adolescents were less likely to engage in risky online behavior when they had a strong emotional bond with their family.

Children who have open and frequent discussions with their parents about their online behavior tend to participate in less risky behavior. On the other hand, adolescents were more likely to engage in risky behaviors when their parents simply monitored their behavior behind their back without including the children in educational and behavioral discussions about their online life.

The study, which included 495 children aged 10-18, confirms that having an open dialog with your kids may be the best way to proactively protect them. So use your time at the dinner table as an opportunity to discuss online dangers and safety habits with your child.

What To Do

Review risky behaviors and dangers.

Kids may not know what online behavior is acceptable, so review what actions are risky. Consider sharing stats and stories that show how dangerous the internet can be, and make sure your children know it is unacceptable to:

  • Add strangers to their follower lists
  • Interact with strangers
  • Disclose personal information on public forums and to strangers (i.e. full name, address, phone number, banking information, school name, when family will be away from the house, etc.)
    • 50% of teenagers have a public profile that is viewable by anyone on the internet
  • Agree to meet friends only known online in person

Ask about how their friends act online.

Mesch’s study found that kids were more likely to engage in risky online behavior when they thought their friends would approve of it. Adolescents frequently mimic the behaviors of their peers so discuss what your child and their friends are doing and seeing online.

Instill trust.

Researchers reported that “… families that knew how to establish a relationship of trust among family members reduced risky behavior.” So, throughout your conversations with your child, remind them that you trust their judgment and believe they will make the right decisions.

Pay attention to the boys just as much as the girls.

According to the study, parents were more likely be concerned about their daughters than their sons when it came to online safety. But the study found that boys are actually more likely to engage in risky behavior online. Give equal attention to boys and girls when dealing with the subject.

Related: Parents Can’t Afford to Ignore Their Kids’ Social Media

What NOT To Do

Give a lecture.

It’s important to have a dialog that has two sides. The goal of your conversation should be for both parties to share and learn. Children learn about online risks and how to protect themselves. Parents learn about how their children and their peers act online. Most importantly parents should ask questions and allow their children to ask questions of them during this discussion.

Make accusations and assumptions.

Avoid accusing your child of behaving badly online if you have been checking their online activity. It will only push them toward bad behavior because they will think you don’t understand or trust them.

Don’t sneak behind their back.

Having an open conversation eliminates the need for you to sneak behind your child’s back in order to monitor their online behavior. During your discussion, explain to your child that as parents, it is your responsibility to be involved in their online activity and safety.

Be up-front about your plan to get involved by using a non-spyware family safety tool that is intended to protect, not infiltrate. By having an open discussion and explaining your motives, your child will be more receptive and understanding of why you need to connect with them in their online lives.

Review the features and download MamaBear, The Ultimate Parenting App™ app to both of your devices to show them how you can work together to protect and connect your family and create a safer online environment. The Mama Bear app is available for both iPhone or Android devices.

 

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Building a Safer Twitter with Improved Tools to Report Cyberbullying

Twitter Cyberbullying Reporting Tools: Twitter is fighting against cyberbullying by upping their game when it comes to user protection.

Twitter is fighting against cyberbullying by upping their game when it comes to user protection. 

The social media platform recently made changes to make it easier to report cyberbullying, harassment, and spamming.

Changes to Twitter Reporting and Blocking Features

Twitter has decreased the amount of information needed to report a user and made the process more mobile-friendly in order to speed up the process of reporting, reviewing, and managing cyberbully.

Recent changes also make it easier for users who see harassment to report it, enabling other users to step in when they see bullying.

Twitter also added features related to blocking. Users can now see a list of accounts they have blocked from a page accessible in settings, and users you have blocked can no longer view your profile.

When to Report a User

You should advise your child to report a user anytime they see the following.

  • Threats – user is making direct threats of violence, threats are directed at an individual or a group of people targeted by race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation, etc.
  • Abuse – user is repeatedly engaging with individual in one-sided harassment
  • Targeted Abuse – individual has created multiple accounts in order to send messages to the same person from multiple accounts, the sole purpose of the account is to send abusive messages
  • Serial Accounts – user has created multiple accounts in order to be disruptive and spammy
  • Spam – user posts duplicate content, messages usually include links that are posted repeatedly and rapidly, user repeatedly posts misleading and false information
  • Private Information – user is sharing personal information (phone numbers, addresses, banking information, etc.) of other individuals
  • Offensive Content – users is directly messaging individuals obscene or pornographic images

Twitter considers all of these actions as a violation of Twitter Rules and may suspend users who engage in the activities. You can find full instructions on reporting violations in Twitter’s Support Guide.

Related: Social Media, Bullying and What You Can Do to Help

Remember that sometimes reporting a user through Twitter is not enough.

If you believe you or someone else is in danger due to information you saw on Twitter, contact local law enforcement.

Cyberbullying Is Still an Issue

Twitter is committed to making their social space safer for users, and they plan to add more features and controls for both reporting and blocking users. They recently stated on their blog, “We’ll continue to work hard on these changes in order to improve the experience of people who encounter abuse on Twitter.”

But that doesn’t mean parents should sit back and let Twitter handle it. Parents should remain involved in their child’s social media world by connecting with and monitoring the engagement on their Twitter account.

With MamaBear, The Ultimate Parenting App™, parents receive notifications when their child gets a new follower or follows someone new, is @mentioned in a message, and uses certain restricted words or risky language. It makes for simple connectivity, easy monitoring, and fast response time to cyberbully and harassment.

See how MamaBear can help protect your child by adding it to your iPhone or Android.

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Tips For Giving Your Child Their First Smartphone For the Holidays

Tips For Giving Your Teen Their First Smartphone For the Holidays

Smartphones are a gift that many kids have on their wishlist, and a gift that many parents are reluctant to give. Concerns about privacy and safety make many parents hesitate before handing over such a big responsibility. But with the right approach and planning, giving a cell phone to your child can be a gift for both you.

Set Parental Controls

Before you gift wrap the phone, open it and set parental controls ahead of time. Most smartphones offer settings that enable you to set a security passcode, disable features, and restrict content. You can adjust the ability to purchase/delete/access certain apps and set filters by age appropriateness for content in apps, movies, and music.

To access the parental controls:

  • On iPhones: Go to Settings > General > Restrictions. Set passcode and adjust settings accordingly.
  • On Androids: Under settings, create a new user for your child with restrictions. You can access all phone functions with the original account and passcode.

BONUS TIP: Consider asking your provider if they offer any programs for setting age restrictions as part of your plan.

Discuss Usage and Set Limits

Ensure that your child understands that exceeding the allotted usage in their phone package can result in additional fees. Teach them how to monitor their minutes, data, and number of text messages if you have a restrictive plan.

This is also a good time to set and review usage limits that are unique to you and your child. Their plan may allot for 200 minutes per month, but maybe you want to set the limit at 100 minutes. Set guidelines that you feel comfortable with.

BONUS TIP: Consider asking your provider about options for capping usage so you will not incur additional fees if your child goes over their limit.

Review Social Media Guidelines, Privacy and Rules

It’s almost guaranteed the first thing they’ll want to do is install social media apps. If you child wants to install any app on their phone, it’s a good idea to have them ask you first as you get comfortable with the type of apps they desire. Know as much as you can about the app by the two of you reading the description, reviews and and discuss the dangers or the app and how to use it appropriately. For each social media account that your child creates, document the account, username and password.

Related: MamaBear’s List of Apps Parents should Ban

Create Your Own Cell Phone Contract

As you go through these steps and set boundaries with your child, write down each rule. Compile that list into a contract for your child to agree to and sign before they can use their phone. Make sure they realize that having a cell phone is a privilege — a privilege that can be taken away with violations of the agreement you two put in place.

This will allow you to hold your child accountable for their actions and ensure they engage in responsible smartphone habits. Believe us, there isn’t one teenager I know that wants their sacred phone taken away!

With these tips, you should be able to give your child their first phone with comfort. For more tips about giving your child their first phone, see our post on what to include in your cell phone contract.

Related: MamaBear Cell Phone Contract for Kids

Install an App that Connects and Protects

The top reason we hear from parents that want to give their child a smartphone is that the technology enables them to better protect and connect with their child. By installing the MamaBear Family Safety App, parents can use the phone to access location services, monitor social media activities, and receive one-click check-ins. And, kids have the security of messaging mom and dad with quick check ins and messages separate from their friends messaging apps.

MamaBear App alleviates some of the worries parents may have about giving their son or daughter their first phone, and it creates a way to better connect with their child’s digital world. The MamaBear app is available for easy install on both Android and  iPhone devices.

 

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POV Swap: The Ideal Parent and the Ideal Coach

POV Swap: The Ideal Parent and the Ideal Coach

This is a collaborative article written by TeamSnap and MamaBear

Sometimes it can be hard to see things from the eyes of another. You might think you have it all figured out, but so does the other guy. But especially when it comes to dealing with someone involved with your children, like coaches or teachers, it’s important to keep their point of view in mind. And of course, they should try to do the same!

With that idea, TeamSnap and MamaBear decided to pull a “Freaky Friday” sort of swap, with MamaBear exploring what a parent’s idea of an ideal coach is and TeamSnap expounding on the coach’s idea of what the ideal sports parent is.

From the Parent’s Point of View: The Ideal Sports Coach

Coaches are role models, mentor figures and advisors — sometimes for life, sometimes only for a season — but they sure do make an impression on our kids.  Our active, on-the-go MamaBear families rely on their kids’ coaches to help shape the meaning of hard work, camaraderie and reliability. Here are our top three observations of an ideal sports coach.

  1. Inspire.  The team talk at the end of every game doesn’t have to be a Jimmy V. tearjerker, but there’s nothing more motivating than a good ‘ol coach pep talk. Certain phrases from coaches will be carried on and used in our kids’ lives well beyond playing sports. The influence coaches have to inspire determination can be more meaningful than realized.
  2. Communicate on level.  The instruction from a coach to “back up” could mean a couple of things to a 9 year old up to the plate in a baseball game. Step further back in the box toward the catcher? Take a step away from the plate? Rather than continue restating “back up” with no real response from the player, give more detail, realize they don’t understand what you’re instructing and try another approach. Every kid comprehends instruction differently.
  3. Have Fun. We’ve all seen the frustrated coach yelling, throwing his hat to the ground or storming off the field. The usual parent sentiment is, “Can’t they just have some fun?”  Really. Lighten up. Instruction and constructive feedback will make the game more fun for everyone. Patience, self-awareness and a smile with a thumbs-up will go a long way.

It takes a village to raise kids — parents, extended family, friends, coaches and MamaBear, too.  We save you time and get you in the know with notifications about your kids’ daily activity in social media and provide peace of mind with location updates, all in an effort to get you talking about responsibility, safety and independence.

From the Coach’s Point of View: The Ideal Sports Parent

We all know what “bad” sports parents are like. The stereotype is portrayed on TV, in movies, and we all see our fair share of them in person, too. But what do “good” sports parents look like?

Ideal sports parents vary depending on the age group, the team and the coach, of course, but they all have a few characteristics in common. We took a look at our more than 7 million users here at TeamSnap, an online and mobile tool for managing sports teams, and came up with three of the best sports parents behavior:

  1. They offer to help. We all know it’s easier to criticize than to jump in and lend assistance. Ideal sports parents know this and not only offer their opinion but also their time, dedication and resources. Ideal sports parents volunteer to host the end-of-season BBQ. They volunteer for drink duty (or better yet, they volunteer to manage drink duty assignments using team management software). They offer their SUV for carpool runs. They understand that the coaches (often volunteers themselves) can’t do it all on their own, and they actively step up.
  2. They’re responsive. Every coach’s pet peeve is asking the same question a million times. Whether it’s checking to see who can make the game, asking parents to pay team dues or asking parents to update their contact information, coaches would rather be actually coaching than managing these administrative tasks. Luckily, sport team management software now exists to automate many of these tasks, but it doesn’t work if parents don’t respond! Ideal sports parents get their forms in on time, they update their kids’ availability status online or however it’s required, and they answer questions when asked … the first time!
  3. They control their emotions. Parenting is, by nature, an emotional experience. You want to guard your kids from anything that might hurt them and ensure they’re getting the best experiences they can from life. Keeping those emotions in check, especially in front of the kids, is an absolute must for the ideal sports parent though. Not only are confrontations between parents and coaches or parents and refs or even parents and other parents embarrassing for the child, they also undermine the authority of the ref or the coach, confusing kids about who they should listen to during a game or at practice. Surely, part of the reason you encouraged your child to join a team is to teach teamwork and responsibility, so exhibit those qualities yourself from the sidelines!

Next time you’re asked to do something by the coach or attending your child’s game, ask yourself, am I doing all I can to be the “ideal sports parent”? And check out the TeamSnap youth sports blog and podcast for more on the sports parent experience.

 

Image Credit: Bigstock