Why Parents Need to Monitor Kids’ Social Media Accounts

After Kurt Shilling and his daughter received dozens of vulgar tweets, it reminds us why it's so important to monitor our kids' social media accounts.

Retired baseball player Curt Schilling may have thought twice about sending a tweet to his daughter congratulating her on her acceptance to college if he would have known where it would lead them.

Schilling was so disturbed by the outcome of that tweet that he shared the experience in a blog post, “The world we live in… man has it changed.”

The post recounts the awful experience that Schilling and his daughter Gabby had with Twitter cyberbullies and trolls, and reminds parents everywhere why it’s so important to monitor their kids’ social media accounts and talk to them about how to protect them online.

What Schilling Learned About Social Media Bullying and Trolling

Schilling was a proud father congratulating his daughter on going to college and joining the school’s softball team. He wanted to share that pride with fans and followers.

But he got more than he bargained for when the tweets sent in response to his message went from congratulatory to downright vulgar.

The responses to Schilling’s post became filled with hateful, hurtful, and disgusting messages referencing his teenage daughter.

How Bad Can It Really Be?

Bad. We aren’t going to publish the terrible tweets that were sent to Schilling and later published on his blog. But if you don’t believe how bad it can really be, you can take a look at the tweets for yourself.

The sad truth is that this is not an uncommon situation on social media. Everyday cyberbullies and trolls send harassing and vulgar messages to people they know and people they don’t know.

Schilling admits that there are a lot of people that don’t like him as he is an outspoken conservative and former Red Sox player. But not even his decades spent living in a dorm room, hanging in a clubhouse, and playing on the field could have prepared him for what he found on his Twitter stream.

What’s In It for the Cyberbullies and Trolls?

Online harassment can be put into two categories. Psychology Today defines those categories as cyberbullying and trolling.

Cyberbullying is deliberate and repeated harmful statements or content with the purpose to:

  • get revenge
  • feel empowered
  • gain popularity
  • harass
  • be offensive
  • upset someone
  • intimidate a person

Cyberbullying is usually initiated by someone the victim knows. Trolling, on the other hand, is usually done by someone the victim doesn’t know.

“Trolls” send messages to start arguments or make people feel angry or upset with the purpose to:

  • entertain the “troll”
  • be offensive and argumentative
  • to bait the user into further dialog
  • gain recognition
  • feel powerful

In Schilling’s case, it seems to be a little of both. There were targets against him directly, and others that just seemed to stir the pot. Parents need to keep an eye out for both types of harassment as each can be equally harmful to children.

What You Can Do To Help Your Child

Sometimes it takes a parent witnessing social media bullying first hand to really understand the depths and the severity of online harassment. But through Schilling’s experience, parents can see just how important it is to monitor their kids’ social media accounts.

Parents need to stay vigilant and that means getting involved with their child’s digital life and social media world. They need to make sure that their child is not a target on social media or witnessing vulgar harassment that is sent to other users.

As a parent, you can  get involved and stay connected using MamaBear, The Ultimate Parenting App™. The free app, available on iPhone and Android devices, sends parents messages anytime their child receives a direct message or is mentioned in a tweet, making it much easier to monitor online experiences and protect kids from online bullies and “trolls.”

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Do You Know the Right Things to Do if Your Child Is Bullied

Do You Know the Right Things to Do if Your Child Is Bullied?

 

cyberbullying.Do You Know Enough About Cyberbullying to Protect Your Children?

 

Do You Know the Right Things to Do if Your Child Is Bullied?

Cyberbullying is complicated, and every situation is different. So it’s important for parents to know the best practices for dealing with cyberbullying.

When your child is the victim of cyberbullying or online harassment, there is nothing you want to do more than step in and make things right.

But it’s not always that easy.

Cyberbullying is complicated, and every situation is different. The content of the messages will have various degrees of severity, and the parties involved — the kids, parents and social officials — can make the situation easier to resolve, or in some cases, harder.

So it’s important for parents to know the best practices for dealing with the unpredictable, uncomfortable, and sometimes unrelentless situation of cyberbullying.

Taking Matters Into Your Own Hands

The emotional response to learning that your child is being bullied is enough to make parents jump into immediate action, but parents need to be mindful of how their response can affect their child’s life, as well as their own.

Two fathers in Minnesota learned this when they found themselves in the middle of a national news story, that left one father without his job, after getting involved with their children’s cyberbully situation.

Brad Knudson’s daughter received racist messages from Deron Puro’s two sons, prompting Knudson to call Puro to try and resolve the situation. Matters only got worse when Puro was unwilling to help and exacerbated the situation by leaving his own racist voicemail to Knudson.

Knudson was not silenced by Puro’s unwillingness to help. After reporting the situation to school and city officials, he took the matter into his own hands.

Fearing that his daughter would become depressed and emotionally drained by the continued harassment, Knudson recorded and posted a YouTube video where he called out the bullies and asked them to own up to their actions. In the video, that was close to six minutes in length, Knudson also played the voicemail he received from the boy’s father, Puro.

The video went viral, receiving almost eight million views, and caught national attention. The result affected both the boys and their father; Puro was fired by his employer, a financial firm where he worked as a contractor.

The Best Ways to Help

Knudson and Puro’s situation shows how cyberbullying affects parents just as much as their children and how important it is to resolve problems in a healthy and productive way.

What to do if your child is being bullied:

  • Save the evidence.
  • Report threats of harm to the police.
  • Report the situation to the school.
  • Don’t quit until the bullying has stopped.
  • Don’t provoke the bully.
  • Don’t seek revenge.
  • If you know the bully’s parents and believe they will help resolve the situation, reach out to them.

What to say to your child if they are being bullied:

  • Tell them not to blame themselves. No matter what may have happened there is no excuse for bullying
  • Encourage them to talk to others about it. Don’t hold their feelings inside. And not just you, maybe there is a special teacher or counselor at school they feel comfortable around, or friends. But don’t bully the bully with friends, keep the conversation about your feelings.
  • Focus less on the situation and more on the things you love.
  • Understand that the bully has issues that go deeper than the surface situation, they may have trouble at home or at school. Teach empathy, but also strength, no one should accept being bullied.

What to do if your child is being a bully:

  • Explain the seriousness of cyberbullying.
  • Establish clear usage rules.
  • Set limits.
  • Remove access to private online communication.
  • Teach them to manage their stress in other ways.
  • Set a good example. (Bullying is a learned behavior, so be mindful of how you treat people in real life and online.)
  • Seek the deeper problem or stress that is coming out as bullying.

Be Proactive and Help Prevent Cyberbullying

The best way to deal with cyberbullying is to stop the situation early. Use a system for monitoring your child’s social media to stay in touch with what is happening in their online world.

With an app like MamaBear, The Ultimate Parenting App™ available for free on iPhone and Android devices, parents can easily connect and monitor the conversation on their child’s social media streams. Being aware and informed as a parent, and getting involved before there is an issue, will always be the best way to prevent a more drastic and potentially dangerous situation from occurring.

 

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June is Internet Safety Month

June is Internet Safety Month, which is the perfect time to take a look at your family’s mobile and internet safety plan to make positive changes that will keep everyone in the family safe from cyberbullying, predators and even identity theft. We’ve compiled some tips any family can use this month and every month to keep their kids safe online and on their mobile devices.

  1. Have frequent conversations about safety. Keeping an open line of dialog with your children, no matter what age they are, is the most important thing any parent can do to keep their children safe in real life and on any device.
  2. Encourage them to stand up for what’s right. Being a leader and taking a stand against negative peer behavior is a hard, ongoing learning and life experience. If their friends want to prank or cyberbully a peer, give your kids the words to refuse to engage and help discourage their peers from cyberbullying.
  3. Teach your kids how to report inappropriate behavior. If they witness cyberbullying or comments that are hurtful, reassure telling an adult who can intervene. If they hear of a peer who is experiencing inappropriately sexual behavior from an adult, that behavior can be reported via the website http://www.missingkids.com/cybertipline. According to The CyberTipline® they have “received more than 2.3 million reports of suspected child sexual exploitation between 1998 and March 2014.”
  4. Connect with local schools and their resources. Every year schools devote more resources to internet safety. Learn your school’s internet safety policies, make sure your children are aware of and follow those policies. Talk to teachers and school administrators when you have any concerns about students’ behaviors inside and outside of school.
  5. Install a family safety app like MamaBear. Stay in the know about their social media activity by installing a family safety app like MamaBear. MamaBear allows you to monitor activity on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. In addition you can stay connected with information about location and driving speed. This provides peace of mind to parents and gives kids an opportunity to stretch boundaries.
  6. Encourage your kids to adopt practices that help them avoid identity theft. Tell them to always log out of a computer in public places, always be aware of where their mobile devices are (and not give them to friends). Caution against giving out any personal information online (name, date of birth, phone, address, etc.) This website offers advice for how to keep one’s personal information safe online.

Knowledge is power. Stay informed. Read articles outlining current trends in internet safety. Follow blogs like this one, which are constantly reviewing internet safety trends and sharing them with our fans. Then, share that information with your children. They may not seem like they are listening, but that information will sink in and will help them learn how to keep themselves safe online.

Is Instagram Safe For Kids?

is instagram safe for kids

We get a lot of questions about Instagram. “Is Instagram safe for kids?” “How old should my kid be before they use Instagram?” “How do I make sure my kids are safe on Instagram?” There’s a lot to think about with Instagram, but MamaBear has advice and information to help parents sort it all out.

Like many social media platforms, Instagram offers kids both opportunities and hazards. Due to fairly lax login policies and few restrictions, it is fairly easy for children on Instagram to be exposed to age inappropriate content. Racy photos are fairly common. Nude photos aren’t allowed but are often posted anyway and with a quick search on the explore tab, kids can let their imagination run wild. While the app requires users to be at least 13 years old (compliance with COPPA) to create and account, it is not difficult to fudge to access the app.

Like all social media platforms, Instagram can easily mean too much exposure. Anyone can view photos a child posts, and anyone can comment unless settings are appropriately changed. Geotagging presents another danger. Instagram settings make it easy for a child to broadcast their location and information to millions of strangers.

With the basic settings, any user can comment on an Instagram photo, which makes the app prime for bullying. Parents know all too well that kids can be cruel, and Instagram can become a venue for this behavior. In current trends, children of all ages are being ranked in “Instagram Beauty Pageants.” This disturbing trend has teen girls of all ages attempting to gather millions of votes compared to classmates and peers.

Rest assured, Instagram isn’t all bad. Many parents have discovered ways to mitigate and monitor risks for their kids that like to stay up-to-date with popular technologies. Instagram does allow kids to share and view amazing photography and creativity around the world. That’s a pretty exciting prospect for parents and kids.

We have a few tips for parents who want to allow their kids to participate on Instagram.

1. “Stranger Danger” Rule Applies.

Parents can prevent most problems by talking to their kids know about the risks of the app and what to do should they face an uncomfortable situation. Making sure kids understand that exposure isn’t always a good thing can prevent many unfortunate situations. If your child doesn’t know someone, they shouldn’t follow or allow a stranger to follow your child.

2. Check the Privacy Settings.

Protect from outsider looking in on your child’s Instagram profile by adjusting the built in privacy settings. Setting the “Photos are Private” option in the profile menu prevents unwanted strangers from accessing the child’s photos.

3. Use a Social Media Monitoring App Like MamaBear.

Many parents need a little help when it comes to ensuring social media is safe for their kids. MamaBear can make it easy to track a child’s Instagram account. Parents can receive email alerts or push based alerts when a child follows someone, a restricted word is used or a restricted follower mentions the child. It also gives parents a nudge when the children upload photos. It’s a time-saver.

Is Instagram safe for kids?

Like all family matters, it’s up to the parent and the kid. Parents have options to help. MamaBear is here to help parents navigate the tricky world of social media with our groundbreaking social media monitoring app for Android and iPhones.