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How to be a Savvy Middle School Parent

Middle-School-KidsA milestone transition in a child’s life involves going off from elementary to middle school. Those who have gone through this change with their children learn the experience can be a fun, positive time of growth for a whole family. But it also comes with anxiety, both for parents and their new middle schoolers. Most of that anxiety can be relieved with a little preparation and information about what to expect – and how to manage whatever comes your child’s way.

Middle school is, perhaps, the first time in your child’s life when for all practical purposes mom and dad are not cool and have little credibility. As soon as a child nears puberty, he or she may begin pulling away in an effort to define his or her own identity. This can be difficult for a parent, but it’s a great time of growth for children.

Although a tween may appear to find his or her parents’ advice not helpful, when shared with patience and love, the advice can be planted into a child’s pliable young mind like seeds. In other words, they are listening, and they may take heed, even if it’s so “whatevs” to act like the advice matters.

Part of the thrill of entering middle school for kids – and part of what creates anxiety for parents – are bigger boundaries and likely more connectivity. For example:

6 Tips for Parents of Middle School Students

1.   Encourage Cell Phone Safety. This may be the first time in a child’s life when he or she has a mobile device. A child with a smartphone or other mobile device makes their once small world exponentially bigger. That world can be both good and bad. A smartphone allows parents to reach their kids before and after school to arrange rides and check in. It also allows children to bond with their new friends via social media. Of course, a mobile phone can also be a distraction in school, and it can be dangerous on a walk home. Remind your child not to “cocoon” by crossing intersections and train tracks while wearing headphones and a hoodie and staring at a mobile device screen. Doing so can block out all stimuli, so that even a loud train whistle often can’t be heard. The results of this can be devastating. This mom’s cell phone contract is a MamaBear favorite.

2.   Monitor Social Media.With middle school comes a new level of social media usage. Maybe your child was allowed to experiment with social apps before middle school. Or maybe you are reluctantly allowing your child to use Instagram or Kik for the first time. Social media can be a fun way for kids to stay connected outside of school. Of course, it can also pose dangers in the form of cyberbullies and strangers preying on our children. Protect your child from inappropriate social media behavior by closely monitoring their activity. The MamaBear App can save you some time with social media monitoring to know when he or she makes new friends and is tagged in posts, photos or at locations. The app will also make you aware when inappropriate language or indication of bullying is posted to your child’s profile based on a restricted word list you create.

3.   Keep Tabs on You’re Child’s Device Location. In middle school a child is often given more freedom to roam. After school, he or she may go with a group to the local frozen yogurt shop or a friend’s house. Parents will nonetheless worry about who they’re with and their safety. Some parents choose to worry less by installing an app like the MamaBear Family Safety App to monitor their family’s devices being aware of where he or she is before, during and after school.

4.   Take the Safety Pledge. If you’re worried about your middle schooler’s safety before, during and after school both online and in real life,  a safety pledge from your child may help create a agreement between you. Netsmartz.org is a a good resource.

5.   Download the MamaBear Family Safety App. Middle school today isn’t what it was ten, twenty or thirty years ago. While some things never change (cliques, tricky locker combinations and puppy love), children have a whole new way of connecting and communicating with the world through their mobile devices. MamaBear can help parents feel more secure when transitioning their tweens through this important developmental stage.

6.   Communicate Often. Of course, nothing replaces loving, genuine communication. Talk to your kids every day. Try to eat dinner together and ask about their friends and what goes on at school. Encourage trust and an open lines of communication so that when your kids are in a bind – or when you sense something isn’t going right – they know you are there to help them through whatever challenges they face.

Help protect kids during this transition to middle school with the MamaBear app, available on Android devices here and iPhone devices here.

 

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Protecting Kids from Internet Stranger Danger

Internet Stranger DangerFor decades, “stranger danger” has been a term parents of school-aged kids used to warn their children. Before the rise of the internet, stranger danger referred to the dangers associated with strangers physically preying on innocent victims enticing with candy, knocking on the door or approaching a wandering child at a grocery store. While stranger danger is still a reality, it has a new dimension: threats from dangerous strangers can present themselves both in the flesh and online. Indeed, internet stranger danger is a real and growing problem.

When you send your child out into the world, you try to keep him or her safe from predators. The same is true online: just as a child can fall prey to a real-life predator, he or she can be victimized by an online stranger looking to prey on unsuspecting youths.

Although the threat of online social stranger danger is real and worrisome to any parent, there are many things you can do to protect your children. Here are 10 tips for ensuring that when your child uses the internet, he or she is able to enjoy the benefits of social media and the web without being victimized.

Tips to Prevent Internet Stranger Danger

1.   Don’t give out personal information. No one – especially a minor – should give out his or her name, age, address, school name, phone number or photos of him or herself online, in chat rooms, by email, by instant message or clubs online.

2.   Don’t talk to strangers. This age-old advice is especially important online. Tell your children they should avoid befriending strangers online in almost all circumstances. If they don’t know the person they should “unfriend” them on Facebook, don’t let them follow or be a follower on Instagram.

3.   Never meet with an online “friend” in person. Children should be reminded to never meet in real life with someone they meet on the internet without a parent accompanying them. Dangerous strangers can easily pretend online to be someone they are not.

4.   Don’t respond to strange requests. If your child receives an instant message from a stranger that seems inappropriate in some way, tell him or her to log off and notify an adult immediately. Especially when the request has to do with location, photos or sensitive information.

5.   Do not accept online messages from strangers. Don’t let your child open or accept emails, links, attachments, URLs or anything else from someone he or she doesn’t know and trust in real life.

6.   Never share your password. Remind your children – and remind them again and again – that they should never, under any circumstances, share a password with anyone other than their parents. Even close friends should not know a child’s passwords.

7.   Set boundaries. Create house rules for internet safety at home and make sure your children respect and follow them. Encourage them to follow the same rules at school, at the library and at friends’ and relatives’ homes.

8.   Monitor your children’s online and social media behavior. One way you can do this is by installing a family safety app like MamaBear on your child’s Apple or Android device to monitor your child’s behavior on social networks, including when he or she adds  “friends,” and when he or she is tagged in posts, photos or at locations. A family safety app will also make you aware of when inappropriate language or indication of bullying is posted to your child’s profile.

9.   Keep tabs on the websites your child visits. Look at the browsing history in whichever browser your child uses on a regular basis. Keep yourself informed of his or her online behavior. Also set up google alerts for your child’s name. Search your child’s name frequently.

10.  Communicate. Have conversations about your child’s online life and share yours. Who does she talk to? What does he like to do? Has she watched any funny or interesting videos lately? Open and honest communication is one of the best defenses against online predators. Let your child know that he or she can talk to you honestly about anything that happens in his or her online life, and that if a stranger approaches your child with sexual advances, you as a parent need to know.

Stranger danger – whether in real life or online – is something all parents worry about. By taking some precautions, staying aware and communicating with your children, you’ll be able to put your mind at ease and allow your kids the freedom they need to grow, explore, learn and have fun.

Help protect kids from internet stranger danger with the MamaBear app, available on Android devices here and iPhone devices here.

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Cyber Safety Tips for Kids – Preventing Cyberbullying and Inappropriate “Friends”

cyber-safety-tips-for-kidsHow to prevent – and stop — Cyberbullying

In our last blog post, we discussed preparing for the new school year by taking certain safety precautions with your children’s internet use, whether on their smartphones, on home computers or even in the classroom. This week we’re going to continue that discussion by talking about cyberbullying. As children start a new year they naturally make many new friends. Most of the time, those friendships are healthy and normal. But sometimes friendships go sour. Our kids get bullied. And in the 21st century, that bullying can get very ugly – and very public — with the use of social media.

What exactly is cyberbullying? According to HelpGuide.org, “cyberbullying occurs when a person uses the Internet, emails, text messages, instant messaging, social media websites, online forums, chat rooms, or other digital technology to harass, threaten or humiliate another person.”

A cyberbully can be a boy or a girl. He or she is often anonymous, able to hide behind a screen name. And with the internet, their bullying tactics can be employed 24/7 with the use of a smartphone or computer. Unlike physical or personal forms of bullying, cyberbullying can be very public. “With a few clicks,” HelpGuide says, “the humiliation can be witnessed by hundreds or even thousands of people online.”

The impact of cyberbullying can be devastating to a child of any age. That’s why it is so important for parents to monitor their children’s social media behavior using various methods to ensure their children’s safe and effective use of the internet for school work and positive social interactions. We put together a list of tips to help you keep tabs on your children’s online behavior and prepare you to handle instances of cyberbullying should they ever arise.

The best way to handle cyberbullying is to stop it before it starts with preventative measures.

Cyber Safety Tips for Kids – Preventing Cyberbullying

  • Keep information private. Tell your child to never post or share his/her personal information online or on social networks. Remind him/her not to share friends’ information as well. Personal information may include their full name, school name – even on a shirt, email address, phone number, home address, DOB and no pictures of a new driving license!
  • Don’t share passwords. No child should share passwords with anyone, except parents.
  • Keep communication lines open. As with everything in your child’s life, ask questions; create dialog. Don’t pry or interrogate, but make conversation with your child about his/her online life. Create a sharing and open communication environment in your home.
  • Be smart about what is shared. Remind your child that he/she may regret some of the photos or words used online. He/She should always think twice about what is posted online or said in an email.
  • Monitor your children’s online and social media behavior. One way you can do this is by installing a family safety app like MamaBear on your child’s Apple or Android device to monitor your child’s behavior on social networks, including when he/she makes new friends and is tagged in posts, photos or at locations. Be aware when inappropriate language or indication of bullying is posted to his/her profile.

What your child can do if faced with a cyberbully

  • Do not respond to the cyberbully. According to ConnectSafely.org, if your child is being bullied, remind him/her that the bully wants a reaction. So tell your child not to give him what he wants.
  • Block the cyberbully. Use preferences or privacy settings to block the bully. This might not make the problem go away, but it helps reduce the options a bully has for targeting a victim.
  • Ask for help. Remind your child that if he/she is being bullied, it’s OK to ask a parent for help. He/She can also turn to a school counselor or teacher. He/She shouldn’t have to face cyberbullying alone. A comfortable solution can be worked on together.
  • Report abuse. Use a social network’s “abuse” tools to report bullying to the social network administrators. If there is a physical threat involved, contact the authorities.
  • Save any and all evidence. Thankfully, cyberbullying is usually recorded or saved somewhere and can be retrieved if necessary in the event that things get out of hand.
  • Don’t retaliate: Don’t perpetuate the cycle of abuse by retaliating or resorting to the same kind of behavior as the cyberbully. ConnectSafely.org says “getting back at the bully turns you into one and reinforces the bully’s behavior.”
  • Stand up for what’s right: Tell your kids not to participate in a cyberbullying culture. They can refuse to pass along cyberbullying messages and stand up against cyberbullying among their friends.

We’ve all heard the horror stories about cyberbullying. Thankfully, while cyberbullying is a very real threat, following these preventative measures and action steps can help any parent and child work together to stop a cyberbully in his tracks, leaving social media for its proper use: as a way to bond, share and strengthen positive relationships.

Help prevent cyberbullying with the MamaBear app, available on Android devices here and iPhone devices here.

 

photo credit: > ange < via photopin cc

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Sleepover Parties and Digital Device Use

sleepover-parties-digital-device-use

Sleepover parties generate lasting memories for our kids and lasting bonds with their peers. Some of my greatest childhood memories were while staying at a friend’s house and now my two boys beg to sleepover with a friend or have a friend stay the night just about every weekend. Today, digital media and screen time have turned sleepovers into a new environment and have become part of the parental discussion before sleepovers – should my kid bring their device, will you monitor their use, what time will you take their devices away for night, will they be behind closed doors with their devices?

Video rentals and late night board games have given way to streaming movies, social media and internet connect game consoles. Connectivity to even more people outside of the sleepover is now an option. The peer pressure and potentially skewed judgment of fun with friends mixed with available connectivity can lead to some embarrassing or reputation damaging consequences.

Adult content, chat rooms, webcam chat rooms, desired attention and bullying on the web and on social media are all very real threats that kids could face during the well intended sleepover. And then of course, there’s always the discussion of sneaking out to prank another friend or get into other mischief. Did you ever sneak out at a sleepover? Do you worry your kids will?

The MamaBear app can help minimize anxiety when you let your children stay the night out. Our location and social media monitoring can put your mind at ease and reduce the risk of potentially dangerous situations for our kids.

Give your children freedom to create some of the best memories of their lives when they aren’t with you. They can learn powerful lessons in independence, responsibility and accountability. But, you don’t have to suffer with worry and anxiety or text them every 5 minutes to check on them. Let the powerful suite of tools MamaBear app offers alert you to only the information needed to protect your kids. Parents can receive alerts if the child leaves the house or moves at preset driving speed. Social media alerts give parents an early warning about compromising photos, posts and inappropriate contacts and followers on Facebook and Instagram. The MamaBear child monitoring app gives parents the tools they need to sleep easy while the kids spend all night doing what they do best, being kids.