Parents Can’t Afford To Ignore Their Kids’ Social Media

Parents Can’t Afford To Ignore Their Kids’ Social Media

To those around him, Jaylen Ray Fryberg seemed like a normal high school freshman. He was well liked and happy, played on the football team and had recently been crowned Homecoming Prince. Around family, friends and classmates, Fryberg gave off the impression that he was a typical, upbeat teen.

That’s why those who knew him were shocked to learn that Fryberg entered his high school cafeteria and opened fire on his classmates, killing one before taking his own life. That was not the Fryberg they knew.

But only after the tragic events of his death was another side of Fryberg revealed — through his Twitter account. The happy, friendly disposition that Fryberg gave off during in-person contact was starkly different than the way he appeared on Twitter. In the weeks leading up to the shooting, Fryberg’s Twitter feed was filled with disturbing updates where he openly expressed anger, sadness and aggression.

While his page was filled with updates that clearly indicated the teenager was going through something really troubling, no one realized this until it was too late. Fryberg’s tragedy reminds us just how important it is for parents to connect with their children in their social media worlds in order to see all sides and spot problems early on.

Looks for Signs of Distress that May Not Be Visible In Real Life

Friends said the Fryberg they saw in person and the Fryberg they saw on Twitter seemed like two different people. On the day of his ominous final tweet, (“it won’t last…. It’ll never last….”), one of his classmates said that Frybeg was “all fine” at football practice that day.

As parents, we need to realize that how our kids act in front of us may not tell their full story. We need to keep our eyes open to underlying issues and use social media as a window into what our kids are really thinking and feeling.

Remember That Your Kids May Have More Than One Account on the Same Platform

It’s easy to set up multiple usernames on the same social media platform. So be mindful of this when reviewing your child’s account. If you notice that they are not active on the account you know about, ask them if they are using another. Pay attention to their friends and notice if they are tagging or communicating with your child at another username.

Check the Direct Messages To and From Your Child

Not all social media is public. Remember to check private messages that your child is sending and receiving. Look for communication that could be hurtful to both parties. Stopping your child from sending hurtful messages to other children is also part of your job in protecting your child from dangerous situations.

Related: Social Media, Bully and What You Can Do to Help

Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late — Connect to Your Child’s Social Media Life Now

As a parent, you should connect to all of your child’s social media accounts and regularly monitor how they are using those sites. You can use a platform like MamaBear Family Safety App which to receive notifications when they get new followers and friends, easily view photos uploaded and set alerts for certain language and phrases.

It is our job as parents to know what is going on in our children’s lives offline and online. So don’t look the other way when it comes to social media and connect with your child now using a social media monitoring platform like MamaBear App which is available for both iPhones and Androids.

Social Media, Bullying and What You Can Do to Help

Social Media, Bullying and What You Can Do to Help | MamaBear App

Statistics from DoSomething.org show that nearly 43% of kids have been bullied online and another 70% have seen bullying online. But with only one out of ten victims reporting this type of abuse to an adult, cyberbullying isn’t always an easy problem for parents to identify.

Parents must be proactive and prepared to protect their children from social media bullying.

Keep an Eye on What’s Going On

The best way to know what’s going on in your child’s social world is to see it for yourself.

  • Help your kids set up their accounts. Kids want to be independent and sooner or later, they are going to set up their own social media profiles. Instead of waiting for them to sign up, get involved early. Help them set up their accounts, and use that opportunity to tour the site together, set privacy settings and discuss the dangers as well as social etiquette. When you set up their profile, explain you need a copy of their password and username, not because you want to snoop, but because you want to keep them safe. It’s responsible parenting.

  • Make monitoring a habit. Being on the social site yourself and friending or following your children make your presence known as a form of monitoring but also providing a sense of security to your kids. Plus, it will keep you up-to-date on social sites so you are more educated on their trends and purposes.  Using third party services like MamaBear App can help save time filtering need to know information with customized word list to monitor with timely mobile notifications.

  • Put limitations on phone and computer use. Setting boundaries is important in all relationships.  Set limits on time and place for device use. Limit computer use to a central location where you can periodically pop in and see the screen. If your children have phones for games and emergencies, they don’t need their device with them 24/7. Here are some ideas for a cellphone contract that can guide you in creating these boundaries.

Related: Helping Your Teen be Safe on Social Media

Save the Evidence

If you happen to find an indication of bullying on your child’s social sites, make sure to save the evidence.

Many online sites make it easy to take down messages, so be sure to capture proof while you still can. This evidence might be vital in filing a complaint, so take a screenshot that includes the date and username of the bully.

Block and Report the Bully

Block and report any user that shows signs of bullying directly from your child’s account. You can also file a complaint separate from your child’s account. Many popular social sites also allow you to file a report even if you don’t have your own account.

Talk About It

Talk to your child about what happened. Discuss that bullying isn’t acceptable and reassure them that you are there to listen and answer any of their questions about the situation.

By planning ahead and properly addressing the problem, you are teaching your child how to protect themselves in the future. But as a parent it’s up to you to be proactive and make sure they stick to the plan.

Download the MamaBear Family Safety app, available for iPhones and Androids, to connect with your child’s social media accounts and ensure that they are engaging in a safe and healthy social media environment.

Getting Started With MamaBear App

Thanks for using the MamaBear App.  We’ve put together a step-by-step guide to help you get started. Get in touch with us at support@mamabearapp.com with any questions.

mamabear-family-safety-app1. ADD YOUR FAMILY.

Add your children and any other guardians to your account in the settings area.

Your added family members can install MamaBear from the Apple App Store or Google Play Store and we’ll also send them a text message invitation asking to join your family.

2. CONNECT WITH YOUR FAMILY.

Once your added family members have installed MamaBear, they’ll simply need to log in using their phone number and the family password you created.

Share your password and give your kids a hand if they need help installing MamaBear on their phone.

You can resend the login link when you see that your child has not logged in for the first time or if their map location is old. Go to your child’s profile settings page and tap “resend login link.”

3. REVIEW YOUR CHILD’S DEVICE SETTINGS.

Your child’s smartphone needs data connectivity with these appropriate device settings:

– Location services “on”
– Background refresh “on” (for iPhones)
– Make sure wifi is “on.”  Even if not connected, having wifi on helps the device’s location services.
– The device also needs to be powered on to share updated location information.

Related: How to prevent your child from deleting apps

mamabear-app-monitor-social-media4. GET YOUR CHILD’S SOCIAL USERNAME AND PASSWORDS.

Connect your child’s Grom App, Instagram, Twitter,  and/or Facebook accounts in the settings area of MamaBear.

Once you are connected:
– Customize a word list to monitor on all connected social accounts by tapping “restricted words.” Check out these acronyms you may want to add to the list.
– Notifications for new Twitter followers.
– Notifications for Instagram photos posted.
– Select what notifications you would like to see of your child’s activity on the Grom app.

5. SET UP SAFE PLACES.

Add places like home or school in the settings area of each child to receive notifications when they arrive or leave. Adjust the size of the boundary to fit the location in the safe place settings to prevent “bouncing” or inaccurate departures.

6. REVIEW THE DRIVING SPEED DEFAULT.

The default setting for driving speed notifications is 55 MPH.  You’ll receive notifications if your child rides or drives over that limit once per hour.

7. SHARE THE GIFT OF FAMILY SAFETY.

Earn a free premium subscription when you share MamaBear with your friends using the Bear2Bear referral program. Tap the top left menu and tap “share” to choose among text, email or social apps to share your custom referral link.  As soon as your friends register, they receive a free premium subscription period and so do you! Learn more about Bear2Bear.

8. LEARN MORE ABOUT DIGITAL PARENTING.

Check out our blog and follow us on FacebookTwitter, and Pinterest. We share great resources to help you through the wonderful world of digital parenting.

Taking Responsibility for Kids and Sexting

kids and sexting

As much as we don’t want to admit it, more and more kids are sexting. According to studies conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, The Pew Internet & American Life Project and the Cox Communications Teen Online & Wireless Safety Survey, 39 percent of all teens have sent sexually suggestive messages via text, email or instant messaging and 48 percent of teens say they have received such messages.

Naturally, kids don’t want their parents to find out about sexting behavior. So they try to stay one step ahead when it comes to keeping select content hidden from their parents. Part of this is developmentally normal. But sometimes it can lead to trouble – especially when social media apps are involved creating harm to your child’s digital reputation.

Even when parents use family safety apps like MamaBear to monitor their kids’ safety, talking about the consequences to sexting is an ongoing, important conversation. Be aware of new social and messaging apps your kids and their peers are using. Also, do your best to responsibly monitor their text messages.

POOF! GOES PARENTAL AWARENESS

Take, for example, the popular app Poof. “Another app to keep an eye on is Poof,” writes one blogger. “It’s an app that hides other apps. All your child has to do is open Poof and select which app they want hidden and mom and dad will never know it’s there.”

This video shows how the app works on Apple devices (note the types of sexually themed apps the commentator decides to hide with Poof!).

Poof also makes a texting app that allows text messages to disappear after they’ve been read. “POOF text messages are never stored on servers, and leave no text messaging footprint behind!” reads the app’s description at the Google Play store.

Taking Responsibility

Do your kids’ phones have Poof?  How would you know? So whose responsibility is it to monitor kids when they engage in this behavior? These days, many groups who work with youth are taking action to keep tabs on kids social media behavior, from schools instituting new social media policies to the police, who are known to have their own procedures now for monitoring the social media accounts of local teens. Some might argue that it is the responsibility of the social media companies themselves to keep tabs on what is going on with underage accounts. Others believe it is firmly the responsibility of parents to monitor their kids’ behavior and hold them accountable when they go astray.

See Also: Schools offer social media training to deter sexting, other dangerous online behavior